Rumor Has It

It’s time once again for that yearly event that gets the tech bloggers giddy and keeps the rumor mills churning out predictions: Apple, Inc., is about to release…something. That something is reportedly a new iPad. That’s about the only thing that is easily predicted, since Apple likes to stick to yearly product updates. So below, is my prediction on what will or won’t be in the new iPad. But, since my predictions are usually wrong (just like most of the rumors floating out on the Interwebs), I present you a summary of the latest rumors I’ve seen, in Mad Libs form. I figure if enough of us fill this out, one of us has to be right. It will be like monkeys typing Shakespeare.

Recent reports point to Apple releasing the iPad 3 on DATE. That is the name most NOUN have chosen for the new tablet, but it could just as easily be called the PROPER NAME or PROPER NAME. One thing is clear, the new iPad will be ADVERB more ADJECTIVE than previous versions. It will retail for NUMBER and have capacities up to NUMBER gigabytes. Apple will also introduce a ADJECTIVE version and a NOUN, which has long been seen as the next ADJECTIVE step in Apple’s plan for ADJECTIVE NOUN.

The camera in the iPad 2 camera has received poor PLURAL NOUN for its low resolution, so Apple will probably VERB the new iPad’s camera to NUMBER megapixels, and video resolution VERB to NUMBER. It will also include the ability to VERB while GERUND its NOUN. The iPad’s NOUN will be ADVERB ADJECTIVE, while its NOUN will allow you to VERB it longer.

On the connectivity front, the iPad 3 will include NOUN, and might include NOUN. It will mean Apple has solved the NOUN of NOUN. If NOUN is missing from the iPad, it will be ADVERB VERB or VERB by tech pundits, depending on which NOUN you read. It will be sold by PROPER NAME, PROPER NAME, and PROPER NAME. Apple will also release iOS version NUMBER, which finally adds NOUN integration and NOUN. PROPER NOUN users will VERB these additions, saying their ADJECTIVE NOUN has had NOUN for time.

The iPad’s NOUN will have significantly more PLURAL NOUN, rivaling the NOUN of previous versions. The NOUN screen will be virtually ADJECTIVE, thanks to the addition of NOUN and NOUN. Internally, the iPad will run ADVERB thanks to a new NUMBER NOUN, designed by PROPER NAME in COUNTRY. This will enable users to VERB NOUN SIMILE.

All in all, the iPad 3 will be a ADVERB ADJECTIVE device. Of course, all of these rumors are subject to VERB, because no one really VERB any NOUN about just what Apple is going to VERB.

And now, the required blog title music video reference. If you’re not a Glee fan, I’m sorry. I really need to get out more.

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